Hands Open, Heart Open
by PiercedStarling89
Summary: a particularly hard case brings to light our two favorite profiler's thoughts & feelings. 3


A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~Ingrid Bergman

Derek Morgan often wondered when the first time was that he truly felt the shift in feelings he had towards this man that stood before him. He had met him when he was still a kid, intelligent beyond words could describe, but still such a kid. He had lived a guarded childhood, missing out on experiences a common person wouldn't think twice in regards to.

A team barbeque that Hotch had at his home before Haley's subsequent murder by the Reaper had been the only barbeque he could remember ever attending in his life. The first time he understood the reference they had made about the connection between 'A Clockwork Orange' and Beethoven was a blustery fall day that Morgan had brought over a stack of DVD's and take out that would last them all afternoon. Garcia and Prentiss had been the first women to ever make him to go a nightclub. It was an evening they had gotten back from a particularly grueling case and all Emily had wanted to do was go dance. Telling Reid he needed to let loose he had been brought along and sat with a small smile on his face as he saw his friends sway to the beat all night. He had spent his childhood already thrown into the world of adulthood. And now it seemed his adulthood was in partial being spent learning how to let that burden go.

But Spencer had evolved into quite a man. He had come a long way from the scrawny kid who had entered the BAU almost 6 years ago. He had become toned, healthier then what he had been. His long wavy hair had grown back out and only to those who knew him did he walk just a bit different having a bit of residual damage from the bullet he had taken for the doctor last year. Experience had hardened him a bit, and past and present demons pushed him to be the best. He had to stay sober, deal with problems with his mother and constantly remember the impending fact that schizophrenia usually manifested itself by the age of 30. He pushed himself to be the best at his job, and worked diligently to make sure that the evil they encountered wasn't going to beat the optimism he wanted to keep.

More so then anything else in their intertwined lives, Derek was in awe of the seemingly endless amount of knowledge that this genius had. Derek knew how he had become frustrated with him some days for having an answer for everything. Rhetorical was not a word Reid knew. But as Derek came to the realization of his slowly changing feelings towards the Doctor, he felt like he could listen to him all day. As frustrating as it could be at work, when they were at each other's homes, enjoying an afternoon away from murder, abduction and the ever evolving criminal profile, his endless chatter was endearing. Every day random facts that you wouldn't ever normally think of were absorbed into his brain from everything he had ever read, a good portion remembered from what he saw, and even more from what he heard. So a trip to the grocery store meant possibly a random fact on the difference between a variety of tomatoes, how the word Sandwich had evolved from The Earl of Sandwich in Great Britain, or how many calories were in the entire carton of ice cream that Derek had been eyeing. He even calculated how long of a work out Derek would need to do to burn off all the calories of the gallon of ice cream. All Derek could do was laugh.

To have that hindrance of such intelligence was something that Derek knew Spencer struggled with. He would quickly anger at himself when his eidetic memory couldn't recall something from almost 2 decades prior, when his Mom first began reading to him. He handled the stress of needing to keep all his wits about him on little to no sleep on some cases with ease, but the results of such trying cases on a perpetual basis were things that never left Spencer's mind. Unlike the rest of the team, Spencer couldn't just store it away in some part of his brain and forget. Each case, each trial, each person, was forever ingrained on his brain. Derek couldn't fathom how he handled it sometimes.

Which was what brought Derek here now. He had 2 large pizzas in one hand, complete with full sides of salad and breadsticks on top with a case of beer in the other hand. Spencer had asked him over for another blustery Saturday afternoon, avoiding the fact that they had just returned 10 hours ago from a case in Kentucky. The case itself was one Hotch hesitated to allow Spencer to remain on. The particular unsub they were looking for was abducting young homosexual men between the ages of 18 to 30. He had been suffering a delusional break after years of sexual abuse from a Bible belt father. Drugging each of the young men, he would overdose each victim to release them from their lives as sinners.

Spencer had heard the details of the case, and only because they were fellow profilers had they been able to see the change in his posture. His jaw tightened, considerably. His breathing was focused, slowly in, slowly out. His hand gripped his pen only slightly tighter. The team tried their damndest the entire case not to treat him differently because of this. Except Derek. His posture tightened everywhere. In fact, his change in posture was far more substantial then Spencer's even was. He remembered what it was like to almost lose Spencer, and now…now it was like a sick memory rushed to the front of the line in his memory.

So after catching the unsub responsible, it was safe to say that Derek knew he had to tell him. He knew he hated harboring this feeling within himself. After what happened with Carl Buford, part of him hesitated because it felt like he would be less of a man, admitting his feelings for this beautiful man he had come to cherish in his life. But another part, a bigger part, knew that if he didn't tell him, he would be making one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He was counting on this leap of faith to bring him to another point in his life. One that involved Spencer being the partner he never knew he needed, and the love he had been searching for.

Spencer had been expecting Derek around 3 and Derek was prompt as usual. Breezing in the door, he had a small smile on his face seeing Spencer in house pants, mismatched socks, a white beater, and an FBI hoodie he had stolen from Derek one evening a few months prior. Seeing Spencer in his clothes made his heart do a small flip flop, and he tried his best not to let it show through his face just yet. He set the food on the island in Reid's kitchen, and turned around.

"C'mere kid."

Opening his arms, Spencer let out a sigh as he sank into Derek's arms and gripped him tightly. Standing there for a minute, Derek wrapped him up and exhaled with how right everything felt in this moment. The progression it had taken to reach the point where Spencer was comfortable in anyone's embrace had taken some time. It had resulted in him not realizing how often he craved someone's touch, and after cases like the one they had just finished, he knew that Derek would be the person to understand that he needed that contact for reassurance. And Derek was more than happy to be the person he ended up turning to in the end of the day.

"Nice hoodie Pretty Boy. Wonder where you got it?"

Spencer had a small amount of decency to blush just a bit while uttering something along the lines of having "borrowed it for an extended amount of time."

Laughing, Derek and Spencer began a well practiced dance of setting up the food that Derek had brought, moving around the kitchen efficiently and in sync getting everything set. Spencer brushed against him lightly as he moved past him to grab condiments from his fridge. Every move each of them made brought them so close, and Derek felt his heart slam faster every time he was near. He didn't know how he was getting through each moment, but prayed that he wouldn't miss one either.

Setting what he had in his hands down, Reid looked at him quizzically and couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore.

"May I ask you a question?"

Derek looked up, momentarily taken back but nodded at him to continue.

"Did you ever notice you have three separate smiles? One could argue that a human being obviously smiles differently in many different cases, but you have three distinct smiles that I've come to notice."

"I do, do I?"

"Yes. One, for an everyday basis. It's the one that charms women and allows you to get away with a lot when it comes to slipping past with only your credentials and a smile. You have a smile for your friends. It's relaxed and confident. Cocky almost, because your friends are the people who know you better then anyone."

"So what's the third one?"

Spencer hesitated. Derek knew he may possibly be saying something that could truly beat him to the punch of what he had wanted to say today. He took a breath, waiting for Spencer to finish.

"The smile you have when you look at me. It's different than the one that you have for your friends. You look at me, and your eyes start to smolder, lighting up brighter then I've seen happen for anyone before. It's all encompassing, showing in every aspect of your face. That smile was the reason I fell in love with you in the first place, but it's also the only time I've ever seen you look unsure in the entire time I've known you. Like you can't quite either come to terms with the fact that you might have feelings for me that isn't just on a friends basis. Or that you have, and haven't said anything to me. Or it may be because you don't have any feelings other than strictly platonic, but I see it. And if I've just made a really huge ass out of myself-"

Derek smiled, the one which was apparently meant only for him, and kissed him. Truly kissed him, his hand slipping in his soft locks of long hair as he gently slid his tongue along Spencer's bottom lip to have him open his mouth and heatedly return the kiss. Pinning him to the island, Spencer placed his hands on either side of Derek's hips as the darker man used the island for support to stay upright. Pulling away from the Doctor, Derek exhaled a deep sigh as he held Spencer close to him.

"I had waited, and waited and waited and was scared you didn't feel the same. And now, now I just want to kiss you for the rest of the afternoon, and hold you as close as possible."

Spencer smiled softly, his hands intertwining themselves with Derek's, never letting them leave Derek's body as their eyes met. Derek could feel their joined hands shake against his skin and knew that this moment was joyous but terrifying for both of them. This started a whole new part of their lives. Opened their minds to stepping outside of the box and knowing love can come in any form.

But who truly minded when your best friend was now the person who was meant to stand beside you until your end of days?

Without a single thought, two hands collide and the world finally makes sense again. ~Kayla Dawn


End file.
